by Peter Hollins (2018)
Very easy read, yet impactful, with actionable tips and advice for implementing self-discipline and delayed gratification in your own life.
Summary
You must realize that your thoughts and actions have brought you to your current place in life.
If you want to go further and achieve more, you first have to start thinking and acting well beyond what you originally considered the norm.
The Navy use the 40% Rule; When you think you've reached your limit, you're not even close - actually you're only just getting started. You have about 60% left in the tank.
Often we overthink decisions with somewhat obvious actions (should I have this cigarette)
And we are able to rationalize bad decisions - the smarter you are, the better you'll be at giving yourself a seemingly 'reasonable' thought argument against being disciplined.
Overcome this using the 10 minute rule.
If you want something, wait at least 10 minutes before getting it.
- Remove the 'immediate' from immediate gratification.
OR, reverse it if you feel like quitting (exercise for example) - just give it 10 more minutes.
Self-discipline is uncomfortable by nature.
No amount of knowledge will make it comfortable
Try to learn to get reward from the effort itself.
Huberman echoes this in his series on dopamine (here). We must try to access the rewards from exercising discipline, and expending effort.
The time you need discipline most is when it's most fleeting - when you're tired, hungry etc.
You need to be able to default to a mode of 'perseverance'
Practice this by injecting discomfort into your daily life.
e.g. Order that thing on the menu you're not sure if you'll like, or turn the shower to cold.
Urge surfing Don't FIGHT urges, try to consciously OBSERVE them.
I find this particularly helpful - realize this isn't a part of you that you must fight, but rather a SENSATION that you are experiencing.
'I want a cigarette' vs 'I am having the urge to have a cigarette'
You want to practice self-awareness when you feel urges coming on and act like a spectator.
Design the optimal environment.
A clear mind is much more able to remain disciplined.
Structuring your environment can preserve willpower, leaving discipline for when you most need it.
-create order in areas that are in view of your workspace.
-clear your desk, (and desktop!)
-make a habit of leaving phone face down/notifs off
I've found it helps to practice minimalism in your daily life, and de-clutter regularly.
Be careful of falling into life habits/patterns of people around you.
We emulate what we see around us - be careful who is around you.
Others influence what we do, how we think, who we are.
Limit time with bad influences and endeavor to cultivate good ones.
Don't tell other people about your goals
This may give a 'premature sense of completeness' which makes you less likely to achieve them (studies show).
I would say, use discretion- tell your friend if you want to get fit if you want, but try not to get too much reward from their inevitable "oh well done you!"
Your future self is not another person. They are not a stranger.
Stay connected to your future self and act in their best interests.
-Use visualization. Think of your future self as facing the consequences of your present-self's habits.
You can also use the following rule, which is one of my favourites;
The 10-10-10 Rule.
When faced with temptation, stop and ask yourself;
"How will I feel in 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days?"
This is a great circuit-breaker and forces you into the shoes of your future self.
A few other circuit-breaker questions to stop you in your trackers are;
"Do I want to be a disciplined person or not?"
Confront yourself. A disciplined life is made up of tiny acts of discipline.
It is not a one-time decision, but a recurring choice.
"Am I doing the right thing or simply what's easy?"
If you're not doing what you should be, anything else is an excuse!
"This is the hard part. What's the reward"?
Remind yourself of your "Why?"
A daily mantra can be effective for this, and Lex Fridman talks about it more here
Think in terms of EFFORT
Attach your sense of worth to the effort you're putting forth. (not the outcome)
Most of the time, you only have partial control over final outcomes in your life, but you can completely control the process.
You are fully capable of giving your best effort every single time.
Lastly. On average, it takes 66 days to form a habit - for a daily action to become automatic.
(18-254 days in study)
The level of discomfort you initially feel will eventually subside and it will become second nature.
Start small, and manageable, and power through without regard to your emotional state.
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